Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Relationships

So, we all have relationships. Many different kinds. We have family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances to name a few. Within these categories we can go even further.

For instance, within my family of my mother father brother sister type thing, there is but one of those relationships that still exists in a true sense, in a I am in this relationship because I love you and not because of what you can do for me sense. You see my brother knows me, I know him. I can tell him I don't like what he's saying. He can tell me to wake up and smell the bad idea in front of my face. No offense taken. I guess we get each other. We expect things from other people. For this we have been called snobs. So as not to assume he agrees with me on every issue I shall say I from henceforth.

I expect people to tell the truth. I expect people to put their children first. I expect people to be nonjudgmental. I expect people to whenever possible keep their promises. I expect those who love you to show it and I don't mean in the here is $1000 sorta way. Not too many unreasonable requirements, but the reason nonetheless for my lack of family and friends.


It has taken the birth of my daughter 3 1/2 years ago to understand true love, true commitment. My daughter is without doubt my top priority. She is my responsibility. What I teach her, what I allow her to see, hear and the people I allow her to be around all directly impact her. So, I guess if being selective of my friends and even family because their choices are less than ideal is snobbish then I will wear that label proudly. I will hold my nose up high and let the rain poor in because I don't want my daughter visiting a grandmother who lives with 3 crack heads and wonders why my daughter isn't allowed there.

Do I sound angry, bitter? Well , maybe I am angry. Angry because I have to justify why I feel the need to take the higher road and make a better life for me and my family. Why am I the bad guy because I don't want my child to learn the vocabulary of a sailor or how to talk back to me? Is it wrong to want to protect her for as long as I can from all that I can? There are decisions to be made in the intersts of good mothers and fathers everywhere and I will be making them!! Sorry to offend but it appears that is my way. The only thing that matters is that I know what I'm doing is right and it is all good with me and GOD. I'm pretty sure he is on board for limiting contact with people who are drug addicts, biggots and raccists.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Tell Me No More Lies

So, does a 3 1/2 yr old know how to lie? Does she possess in her skill set deceitfulness, dishonesty, and an uncanny knack for pulling the wool over other eyes. The jury is out on this one.



The other day Em spent the majority of the day in the corner. Don't worry. She was provided nourishment and potty breaks. In fact, the reason for being in the corner stemmed from nourishment and potty breaks.



Lie #1 We were having PB&J for lunch. I told Em she had to eat. So, I got up to get something. I come back and she is chewing. I mean really chewing, An abnormal chew if you will. Increasingly abnormal since there is a devilish grin and the sandwich is strikingly still square for a sandwich that has been bitten. She proceeds to tell me "I am eating I am." Lie ! In the corner she goes.



Lie#2 I tell Em to use the potty. She starts washing her hands and says "I did potty I did Mom." Lie!!! In the corner she goes.





I do discuss with her what she has done and what lying is, but I just don't think it is getting through.



Not a lie, just funny. She accidentally pooped in her pants. She said,"I told that poop no sir you stay in there, but it said, no ma'am and came anyway." Hee hee!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Hodge Podge Beach Trip

OK, so follow closely. I am at the beach with my childhood friend whom I have known since I was 6, her two boys, her brother-in-law, his three children, my friend's childhood friend and her daughter and my husband and daughter. To do the math for you 7 children 5 adults.

How may you ask do this little conglomerate of people come about. Well, it started with my dear friend who has a great heart who doesn't like to admit it. She is thoughtful, kind and the strongest person I know and I am not just writing that because she is probably the only person who is going to read this. She made this trip possible and to her I give much thanks.

I have to admit I was a bit nervous about this vacation before leaving, wondering how all these personalities would mesh together. I thought maybe there would be too many people. That was not the case at all.

This trip has been very much what I needed. What did we do you ask? Nothing. We went to the beach every day. We sat and watched the waves come in. For future reading when I say we I don't necessarily mean all of us. We had Coleman's famous punch. (Yes all of us.) We watched J's favorite movie Twilight after some punch which made it seem a bit juvenile, or was it all along? The world may never know. We played Scrabble and I think Coleman realized he can actually spell better than he thought. The little girls had a miniature golf night out. Emily loved it. She even got a hole in one. In fact all the kids did. Em was on her best behavior and slept through the night. She took her first shower. She frolicked in the ocean until her heart was content. She and her Dad collected seashells all day. Coleman found the perfect shell with the shape of a heart.

All in all I could not have asked for a more restful peaceful vacation, but I did feel a beet guilty. I felt bad for having my husband there with me . As if I were flaunting my family in the face of others whose families were missing a piece of the puzzle. My eyes often welled up when I would look and see my friend alone on the beach when there should have been a seat next to hers. I often wondered what thoughts went through the minds of two little boys when they saw all the other Dads on the beach. Then, we would start to talk of T and although I didn't know him that well I would begin to get a glimpse of him. It was as if a part of him was there. It was as if he had brought us all together. I think in fact GOD did bring us all together. A wonderful vacation!!!