Direction

Today I feel out of sorts. I can't quite place my finger on it, but I think it has something to do with feeling trapped in this house. Spring please come early!

I need some alone time. Emily asked is she was aggravating me today. The answer was yes and since I have this horrible honesty thing going on the answer to her was yes. Today we just did not jive. That is okay. Those days are to be expected, especially when you are at home together for 5 days straight.

I, however, feel out of sorts with myself. I need to do something. I did some scrap booking that I haven't done in years. That didn't help. Only made me realize how incredibly unorganized I am.

So, I will make a list of things I want to do. Oh yeah, I also started cutting out my Dr Peppers today. That may have something to do with it. Back to the list. A little late, but a list nonetheless.


Things I Would like to start/do/ accomplish this year
1. pay off credit card ( 2 more months baby)
2.organize all my closets
3. purge all of my clothes and Emily's baby stuff (it's time no baby in our future and no size 12 in mine)
4. loose weight I don't care how much just start
5. have more dates with my husband
6. have at least a few hrs a week alone
7. Get a pedicure
8. tame my tongue speak before I think
9. Read the entire Bible twice (working on that)
10. Be a better wife and mother
11. Find an area of work that I loved
12. Let go
13. Keep my hair cut short and highlighted (it makes me feel womanly)

Em Marie is now 3 !

It was just 3 years ago that my little baby was born. Today she is a baby no more. She was born at 3:19 am after 24 hrs of labor. Funny how the pain of labor quickly fades away. Surely to be replaced with the pains of raising a child. How your heart aches for them when they are sick or when they ask to see a grandparent that they cannot see. She is my angel, my friend, my light, my everything. The greatest thing that has ever happened to me, my crowning achievement.

She has grown into a little lady full of spunk and opinion much like me. She has heart that is vast, a sweetness that I hope lasts. much like her Daddy. As if marking her transition into toddler hood, becoming a "big girl", she has started calling me "mommy." No more momma. To quote her "I'm complicated." She wanted a big girl bike and a helmet for her birthday. She said,"I'll win the race for sure." She is full of these funny sayings. They crack me up.

As she grows up I can only hope that she knows that she is loved beyond belief and that her parents will always be there for her. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Change is Coming

So, I am a nurse. You would think that I would have some job security in this day and age with mad shortage. Not so much. This week they let 3 people go that I work with. Not necessarily go, just rerouted to other areas of the hospital, other shifts. Shifts that aren't conducive to their family needs. So far this has not directly impacted me, but I really feel for these people. It makes you step back and take stock so to speak of your affairs.

C's job has been doing fairly poorly for a while. He makes bearings for SUVs afterall and these days they aren't the hottest sellers. They just announced that his plant manager was leaving. Usually not a good sign. He's retiring, so, we'll see. They have had numerous lay-offs in the past months and C has managed to elude them all. Maybe he can hold out.

We don't by any means live extravagantly. I drive my old beat up Cavalier that has been through more fender benders than I can count. We don't have fancy cars or big SUVS. We don't have a huge house with all the latest amenities, but we could do more to cut back. I should say I could do more. C. that boy, he spends NO money. He is a saver and I guess that is what ultimately will save us.

So, I listen to Q99. Love that station. It relaxes me on the way home from work. John Tesh gives advice on there. Some of it crap, some of it is pretty interesting. So they suggested a no spending month. Nothing except the necessities. Could I do that? An entire month? No Dr Peppers from the drink machine? No McDonalds? It is possible I suppose. I am going to still an idea from a friend and plan out all of my meals. Try at least? Em's B-day is next week. Do I start after that? Thought? Suggestions?

New Year

I had decided that I wasn't going to blog anymore. I think that the whole facebook blog thing is taking up a bit too much of my time. Yet I sit here writing today. I think moderation is the key.

Em and I went back to the doctor yesterday for like the sixth time in a couple of weeks. I was beginning to think I was going to have to buy some antibiotics on the black market. She had horrible ear infection that was making her stomach upset and making her feel dizzy I guess. She was so cranky not sleeping and not herself at all. I am optimistic that she will return to her former self soon. I really need her to.

Coleman and I had a date for his birthday. Very nice. I need more dates. I need more time for myself sometimes! Is that bad to say? Em has not been in daycare for 1 month and his mom has watched her once. That once was the date and she called to say that something was really wrong because Emily was crying and kicking her. We needed to take her to the doctor immediately. Um... I had taken her to the doctor the day before. You would think I had no parenting skills. I explained that maybe Em just needed her parents since she hadn't been away from them in a while. No, that wasn't it. I came home. Em jumped in my arms, We had a little talk later and she said she just got cranky. I love that girl. She is so much like me it is not funny!

At work I am taking a more laid back approach. I am an anal person by nature and not very tolerant of people, but I have a new outlook. I am going to worry about me and as Coleman says think before I speak, which is something I have trouble with.

Em is now riding her bike that Santa brought her. She is digging that. We are going to make some muffins and I am going to have a wonderful day!!!!!!