A Christmas to Remember

Well, this has certainly been a Christmas to remember. We have all been sick for weeks. We didn't get to go see lights or visit with friends or family. We have spent the last few weeks with vomiting, diarrhea and traveling with Emily to and from the doctor. She has been extremely ill. She has lost a lot of weight and is just now eating, We even got to go to the doctor on Christmas Eve for an impromptu chest xray to rule out pneumonia. What fun! We missed the annual Christmas eve dinner at C's uncles house. C's Dad got sick the day before and we have yet to see them. Emily can't take getting sick again. We normally have Christmas breakfast at my house with his parents. Not this year. Just me, Em and C. Em was in no mood. So, we haven't seen any of our family. I thank you K for being my shoulder to cry on during this crazy time. So this Christmas was not what I planned or intended but I am thankful for having my husband and daughter by my side. I am praying for Em and C's dad to continue getting better. Thanks to all of you who called about Em!

Am I Crazy?

So C has been on 1st shift for months now and Em has a well established pattern at bedtime. C's job is very eradic latley and so now he is back on 2nd shift. This is the first week in months I have been at home alone with Em at night. That well established bedtime routine, needless to say, does not involve me. Tonight she screamed for her Daddy till I thought I couldn't take it any more. Charlie Brown came to the rescue and that quieted her for a while. I have to work in the morning and she can seem to sense that as well. That means I won't be able to go to sleep until C gets home at 11. I am thankful he even has a job but the flip flopping of shifts is affecting Em. She misses her Daddy at night. I am woman enough to admit that she prefers having him around most of the time. It's a little girl thing I suppose.
So, to my question. If I struggle on a daily basis and most of the time the 3 yr old wins, am I crazy to even be thinking of having another baby? Am I a bad mother because I need a day to myself? I would love to get my hair cut. That would be lovely. C and I haven't been on a date in a year. Yep, that's right, a year. We talked about that last night. We need some alone time. Unfortunately, that isn't gonna happen. My mom used to watch Em a lot. Now she doesn't see her at all. His mom watches her but for brief periods and usually so I can work extra to make a little extra money. I have a friend who has left her 3 month old overnight already for a shopping trip. Em is 3 yrs old and we have never left her overnight. She has her mom's OCD, so I think it will probably be a while. Oh well, maybe I will get some sleep tonight. Em goes to daycare tomorrow so maybe she can interact with some kids for a change.

My husband

I talk a lot about my daughter, as most moms do. I also talk very little of my husband, which most moms do. Tonight I will talk about C. So, here goes.

For those of you that have met him you know he is a man of few words, so when he talks it matters. I have been having a lot of problems with my back lately. He has been worried about me and catering to my every need. He has been doing the laundry, the dishes and anything else that comes up. This isn't out of his norm. He isn't one of those guys that sits around and expects me to do all the work. I feel lately that I am slacking in many ways. I have been worried about not being able to work, his job, and various other things lately. When I get worried I tend to snap and unfortunately, its usually at him. I feel awful about this. I could not ask for a better husband. He is an absolutely wonderful father. Em adores him. There is a sparkle in his eye when they are rolling around on the floor playing. This is what life is about. When he gets home tonight I will tell him what he means to me and how I have been a tool lately. He also never buys himself anything. As I sit here typing on my laptop he bought me I am reminded of that. I got him an XBOX 360 for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face. The only thing the boy asked for was some socks and gel inserts for his shoes. I think he deserves it.

As a side note I had my "procedure" today to get checked out to see why we can't get pregnant again. Everything looked okay. I am optimistic and hopeful yet content now with the wonderful family I have.

Family and Friends

I have been busy lately but in a good way. Thanksgiving was a quiet, peaceful, calm, thankful day. I have been cooking Thanksgiving dinner since C and I have been married. It is usually a mixture of his family and mine. This year it was only his family which was a little sad for me, but nice nonetheless. My brother and his entire family, including the 1 year old, were sick with a stomach bug and couldn't come. My sister did stop by during the day, but was with her husbands' family. The situation with my mother is complicated, to say the least, so she was not there. C's parents, two uncles and cousin were there. They would all have been at home alone, so we told them to come on over. I cooked the majority of the meal ahead of time so Thanksgiving day was actually quite relaxing. I am thankful for my family. C and Em are my world. They mean so much to me. I feel I fall short of showing them. C's family has become my family. I know some of you have heard my rants about my in-laws and living so close to them, but there are moments like now that I am thankful. I am thankful that I can see how a relationship between an adult child and mother can be, since I can't experience that first hand.

Friday night my friend, her husband and two little girls came down. We fixed a steak dinner and hung out. This is only the second time the husbands have been around each other. They are a lot alike and it was great just hanging out. Her 7 yr old is amazing and Em adores her. Em is having some real issues with sharing, but I suppose this is to be expected at her age. It was so nice to have people at my house. I don't get a lot of guests in the middle of nowhere.