I Don't Blog

I don't blog. Tonight I blog.

I am a bit confused about things. I am starting school in Jan. It's not because I thirst for knowledge or some really academic reason. It is totally self serving for our family. I need to get a bachelors degree to get any kind of nursing job that does require back labor, as my back has had enough. Five years and I've had enough. Man, I feel old. We will eventually need more money than my few hrs a week brings in. That is if Emily has a thirst for knowledge and hopefully attends a college of some nature.

My problem is timing. Do I take time away from Emily now to be at home more later and be available when she is in school? Oh the dilemmas of a good parent. I could be a parent like many women I know and do everything I want when I want and never put her into the equation.

It will all work out. I will put it Gods hands.

On a side note, I have an addiction, I am addicted to that stupid Farmville game on Facebook and I need some help to break the habit!

Baking Queen

I love the little things in life. I love pumpkin rolls. I have always been scared to make them, thinking they were too hard. Today I made one and it was super easy and very tasty. I also made a Halloween cake using homemade fondant. That was actually pretty easy too. I love Halloween and fall. I love staying at home with Em. I love Coleman.

Today we were talking about how much we wanted another baby. Coleman was saying I could stay at home with "out girls." We also talked about what a great big sister Em would be. I thought I had moved on from wanting another child, but the older Em gets, the more I know I have more love to share.

I am cutting my hrs back to 8 hrs a week. Is that insane or what? I think not. This is what I think. I think you live once. Your children are young once. Money is only money. Children will remember story time over SUVs and Coleman rocks. Oh happy day!! Any one want some pumpkin roll?

Fall Approaching

So, for me and Emily fall has arrived. Forget the calendar. We don't need that. That is for "other people." For us, fall is a state of mind. It is filled with freshness and a crispness. It is filled with pumpkins and leaves and decorations, parties, fairs, festivals, friends, family, and fun. This weather in invigorating. I have opened up the windows in the house lately and let the breeze flow in. At night the chill will hit and I will have to grab a warm blanket and curl up on the couch. Yeah!! Sock time is coming. I can bust out my awesome array of socks. We have the whole house decked out. Emily has already worn 2 of her 3 pair of Halloween pajamas. She even wore them out in public. We were getting a few looks. Yes, I know it is only the beginning of Sept. Who cares. So what if it looks like a pumpkin puked at our house. It makes us happy. I am just glad Em shares in my enthusiasm for this lovely holiday and time of year.

A few other things. Em sat through a whole movie. We watched all of Ice Age. She did great! She also can write her first name and A-J of the alphabet. She knows when her birthday is and the months of the year. Okay, so I am bragging a little, but that is what mothers' are supposed to do.

I had to go back to work after being off for a couple of weeks. Em said"I don't want you to go. I want to keep you." I think I will keep her too.

Story time started back at the Library. What a wonderful thing. I love taking Em. We have been going since she was a little over 1. The librarian is great. Then they have pajama story time. Too cool! Kids are so much fun. (Most of the time)

On a darker note, Emily did tell me she hated me this week. I ask myself where did I go wrong? I answer myself Spongebob. Damn you Spongebob and your pottymouth.

Summer Funk

So, I have not blogged in a while. Here goes.
The summer has been trucking along and I have been in a funk. This funk seems to have started after we got back from our trip to the beach. It was so carefree and I felt so relaxed at the beach. I felt good physically too! That may have had something to do with Coleman’s favorite punch. Just kidding! My sister who takes a trip to TN every other week say she does it just to escape. She says things are different when you are in a different place. Well, whatever. That is not an option for people who live in the real world and actually pay a mortgage and have an ounce of responsibility. So, I will have to find a way to de-funk right here.
My mood further deteriorates a week before “my cycle.” I’m talking like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I honestly don’t see how Coleman and Emily can stand being around me. I am almost too much for myself.
Compounding my funk is the fact that my hip has been killing me. I have arthritis and have been diagnosed since I was 22. Well, I joined the gym and have been exercising. I have honestly been trying to lose weight and help alleviate some of the discomfort on my own. Turns out I have been doing more harm than good. I have actually pulled the muscle in my hip and some Dogie Houser MD tells me to stay out of work for 2 weeks and use crutches. The staying home thing, no problem. Crutches, um no. I can’t do it. He then proceeds to tell me I am severely overweight and need to lose 60 ponds. Excuse me? Did you say 60? I don’t think that I would even look recognizable if I lost that much. I ask how he would like me to exercise if he says that I can’t use weights or any equipment. He says these are all bad on my joints. He says long term I should try swimming and that I could lose the weight on diet alone. The jerk tells me “Next time pick the 12 oz steak instead of the 16.” Talking about pissed.
Okay now I am going to let it all go. This is where I am going to put things in perspective. I should suck it all up. Stop pouting, stop complaining. Think of the things that I do have and stop focusing on negative things. This is when I need those people in my life who really care about me to tell me when I am being unreasonable and a tool. Just don’t let me get away with things.
I am thankful first for having my husband and daughter. Some of my friends and family have lost both. Who am I to complain about trivial things when they have experienced such a loss. I am thankful that my husband is a kind man that never judges me, never demands or makes me feel inferior. We are a team and a great one, I think. Marriage is a wonderful, sacred thing. Too many people today think of it as disposable. Some think of husbands and even children like the latest accessories. No different than their Suburban or the newest flat screen TV. Those things all lose their shine and luster. Well marriage isn't about shine and glitz. It is about two people who have chosen to share their lives together. It is more than the church, the dress, the official paper. It is about the commitment to each other and to GOD. If you remember what brought you two together, reminisce about when you first met, those butterflies, although not fluttering wildly are still there. When you look at him on a tractor with an old hat after 10 years and think “Damn, he’s hot.,” that passion is still there.
Okay, I’m rambling, But my point is I am looking at the blessings in my life and being thankful. I am thinking that if Coleman and I show Emily that we love each other, she will see what love is and what a marriage should be. I am done for now!

Relationships

So, we all have relationships. Many different kinds. We have family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances to name a few. Within these categories we can go even further.

For instance, within my family of my mother father brother sister type thing, there is but one of those relationships that still exists in a true sense, in a I am in this relationship because I love you and not because of what you can do for me sense. You see my brother knows me, I know him. I can tell him I don't like what he's saying. He can tell me to wake up and smell the bad idea in front of my face. No offense taken. I guess we get each other. We expect things from other people. For this we have been called snobs. So as not to assume he agrees with me on every issue I shall say I from henceforth.

I expect people to tell the truth. I expect people to put their children first. I expect people to be nonjudgmental. I expect people to whenever possible keep their promises. I expect those who love you to show it and I don't mean in the here is $1000 sorta way. Not too many unreasonable requirements, but the reason nonetheless for my lack of family and friends.


It has taken the birth of my daughter 3 1/2 years ago to understand true love, true commitment. My daughter is without doubt my top priority. She is my responsibility. What I teach her, what I allow her to see, hear and the people I allow her to be around all directly impact her. So, I guess if being selective of my friends and even family because their choices are less than ideal is snobbish then I will wear that label proudly. I will hold my nose up high and let the rain poor in because I don't want my daughter visiting a grandmother who lives with 3 crack heads and wonders why my daughter isn't allowed there.

Do I sound angry, bitter? Well , maybe I am angry. Angry because I have to justify why I feel the need to take the higher road and make a better life for me and my family. Why am I the bad guy because I don't want my child to learn the vocabulary of a sailor or how to talk back to me? Is it wrong to want to protect her for as long as I can from all that I can? There are decisions to be made in the intersts of good mothers and fathers everywhere and I will be making them!! Sorry to offend but it appears that is my way. The only thing that matters is that I know what I'm doing is right and it is all good with me and GOD. I'm pretty sure he is on board for limiting contact with people who are drug addicts, biggots and raccists.

Tell Me No More Lies

So, does a 3 1/2 yr old know how to lie? Does she possess in her skill set deceitfulness, dishonesty, and an uncanny knack for pulling the wool over other eyes. The jury is out on this one.



The other day Em spent the majority of the day in the corner. Don't worry. She was provided nourishment and potty breaks. In fact, the reason for being in the corner stemmed from nourishment and potty breaks.



Lie #1 We were having PB&J for lunch. I told Em she had to eat. So, I got up to get something. I come back and she is chewing. I mean really chewing, An abnormal chew if you will. Increasingly abnormal since there is a devilish grin and the sandwich is strikingly still square for a sandwich that has been bitten. She proceeds to tell me "I am eating I am." Lie ! In the corner she goes.



Lie#2 I tell Em to use the potty. She starts washing her hands and says "I did potty I did Mom." Lie!!! In the corner she goes.





I do discuss with her what she has done and what lying is, but I just don't think it is getting through.



Not a lie, just funny. She accidentally pooped in her pants. She said,"I told that poop no sir you stay in there, but it said, no ma'am and came anyway." Hee hee!

Hodge Podge Beach Trip

OK, so follow closely. I am at the beach with my childhood friend whom I have known since I was 6, her two boys, her brother-in-law, his three children, my friend's childhood friend and her daughter and my husband and daughter. To do the math for you 7 children 5 adults.

How may you ask do this little conglomerate of people come about. Well, it started with my dear friend who has a great heart who doesn't like to admit it. She is thoughtful, kind and the strongest person I know and I am not just writing that because she is probably the only person who is going to read this. She made this trip possible and to her I give much thanks.

I have to admit I was a bit nervous about this vacation before leaving, wondering how all these personalities would mesh together. I thought maybe there would be too many people. That was not the case at all.

This trip has been very much what I needed. What did we do you ask? Nothing. We went to the beach every day. We sat and watched the waves come in. For future reading when I say we I don't necessarily mean all of us. We had Coleman's famous punch. (Yes all of us.) We watched J's favorite movie Twilight after some punch which made it seem a bit juvenile, or was it all along? The world may never know. We played Scrabble and I think Coleman realized he can actually spell better than he thought. The little girls had a miniature golf night out. Emily loved it. She even got a hole in one. In fact all the kids did. Em was on her best behavior and slept through the night. She took her first shower. She frolicked in the ocean until her heart was content. She and her Dad collected seashells all day. Coleman found the perfect shell with the shape of a heart.

All in all I could not have asked for a more restful peaceful vacation, but I did feel a beet guilty. I felt bad for having my husband there with me . As if I were flaunting my family in the face of others whose families were missing a piece of the puzzle. My eyes often welled up when I would look and see my friend alone on the beach when there should have been a seat next to hers. I often wondered what thoughts went through the minds of two little boys when they saw all the other Dads on the beach. Then, we would start to talk of T and although I didn't know him that well I would begin to get a glimpse of him. It was as if a part of him was there. It was as if he had brought us all together. I think in fact GOD did bring us all together. A wonderful vacation!!!

Marriage

OK I am going to admit that I have watched Jon and Kate plus 8. Not recently, but in the remote past. I mainly watched so I could be mesmerized by her organizational skills. We had one similarity, I am a nurse and she used to be one once upon a time . Seemed intriguing enough. Well, so I thought. Silly me.

I came home the other day and said to Coleman "If Jon and Kate can get a divorce that means we could too." Stupid I know, but I often think we have more similarities than just the nurse thing. Coleman said I got my hair cut like her. Whatever. Sometime I feel like her. Evil!!!!!!!!

Coleman is awesome as I have written ad nauseum , but it goes beyond that. I feel I slack in my duties as a wife and a mother. This man cooks. cleans, does laundry and seems to be the only one that meets the criteria to get up with my daughter if she should awaken in the night.

So, what do I offer I ask? What do I bring that is so rare that he could find it it no one else you ask? Ready wait for it. I live with him a cow field away from his mother. No, just joking kinda.

The answer is that I love that man. I treasure him. I appreciate him. I love the way my daughter says "Don't talk to my Daddy like that." I love the way he knows the best and worst of me and has not run for the hills. I guess I just love him, all of him.

I HATE WALMART

Well, it has been quite a while since my last post. Mostly I write when I feel angry or irritable. Thus, the no writing. Well. leave it to Walmart to invoke feelings in me that must be put on paper so to speak.
I WILL NEVER GO TO WALMART AT 12 midnight again. One would think it may be a quick in and out. Slip in right after work. Yeah, no!! The computers switch over at midnight and that takes about 20 mins. The guy in front of me had to return a multitude of random items, a prepaid phone, a printer, DVDs. Whatever. Really? You decided now that these things were not what you needed? Not his fault. The woman had no clue, telling the man he would have to return in the morning to return electronic devices. Not his fault, he was pleasant enough. We talked a bit. I think he was sweet on me just kidding he was like 18.
On to my next issue. WHY? Why do you take children to Walmart at 1:00 am? Why are there babied crying? Do children not sleep? I forget that there are people like my little brother that could care less about their children and they just roll whatever the hour. To all of those parents, I say YOU SUCK!!!!!!!
A pleasant note. I did randonly see some people that I love. I love talking with them. They are like my family and I miss them. I wish I could see them more but have been blessed enough to see them twice in one week. They made my midnight jaunt worth it!!

oh happy day!!!!

Well, I did it. It is official. I quit my job. I will no longer be working the weekends. My 28 day notice starts today. The horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach is easing, my headache is still there however. I am giving up quite a bit of money, but money is not everything. In fact, it is nothing more than a nuisance if you ask me.

I will be starting a job working three days a week, an occasional weekend and an occasional holiday. The great part is it will be in the area that I love with people who actually want to work with me. Going back home to the Recovery Room. The only real nursing job I ever really thoroughly enjoyed. . That is always a plus. To be honest I didn’t know I was that bad. Maybe I am. Maybe like my brother I expect too much out of people. Honesty, equality, freedom from harm, freedom from persecution. Just a wish list of things I would like in a job. You would think that would not be too hard to achieve. I have a sense of relief. I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up at any minute or my heart is going to jump out of my chest.

Guess what. I will be going to the beach. I will be off June 27&28 and I won’t be working the 4th of July. Sorry to ruin the evil plan to ruin my vacation !!!!!!!!! Summer here I come. Thank you GOD for guiding me on this path and for the great people in PACU who are taking me in with open arms. Maybe one day I will settle in one spot. Until then !So long,
The Traveling Nomad Nurse

As an afterthought I love our new dog!!!

Dis

I am disgruntled, disheartened, dismayed, disheveled, disappointed, and dis happy. I made that last one up. I think you get the point. All of this has to do with my work not my home life, let me preface.

I went to school to be a nurse, but three years ago my outlook on life changed and now more than ever I see the real picture. Em and Coleman are my priority without hesitation without question. There is, however, this horrible issue of money. I guess everyone needs it. I hate it, but I have become like all dependant upon it. I wish that we could go back to the old ways. I'll trade you a cow and you can give me three goats. That would be neat.

I am too worried about Emily to have to worry about something stupid like work. I guess some people have nothing better to do than to try and make my life a living hell. Well guess what? It's not working. I have a wonderful husband who baked cookies with his little girl while I am at work. Homemade ones, not the pre-cut business. I have an amazing little girl who when she hears her mommy crying on the phone listening to the doctor tell me she may have juvenile arthritis says to her dad, "Dad I think mom needs me." She comes to my side and says "Don't cry mommy I'll give you a kiss." That is my girl and this is my perfect life. I am taking it as it comes and none of those miserable people at work are gonna get me down. I am contemplating quitting and the decision with be made shortly. Stay tuned!!!!!!

Random

My bathroom is almost finished. The shade of blue is the color of the ocean. Coleman replaced all the lights and the fixtures. So pretty. My bedroom is going to be the color of sand. My little sea and sand escape I hope. Coleman is so handy, handy but very slow. I'm not speaking ill of him. He is well aware of this.

Em's Papa sells one of the calf's each year and gives the money to Em. We normally put it away for her but this time we used it to buy her a play yard. It has a clubhouse and a curvy slide, an area for drawing with chalk and a sandbox. I'm excited. We are planning to be at home a lot this summer, so I'm sure she will enjoy it. It was fairly cheap too. That is always a plus. Just wonder how long the assembly will take.

I have a neighbor, if that is what you want to call it. She lives across the road. She is younger than Coleman but he grew up around her. She is a very nice person, but we for whatever reason just haven't talked that much. She has a daughter that was born just one month after Em. A couple of weeks ago she called and asked if Emily wanted to play. We did. They were cute together. The same height, the same cute curls. We then invited them to start going to story time with us on Thurs. nights. They have been going every week.. She also has a 6 month old boy. This past week she called me up in a jam daycare and I ended up watching her kids for her. I was excited. I felt like I had a neighbor friend, a buddy. This may be beneficial to us both since our girls will be going to school together, in the middle of nowhere.

As a side note, yeah I think we are done having kids. I couldn't remember how to mix formula. Changing the diaper was odd. It's like once you get out of that mindset it is so hard to go back. I am content with my little angel. I love the age she is now. So inquisitive, like a sponge soaking up
everything.

In May I will start working Friday and Sat. nights. I will actually be off on Sundays and may be able to start back to church. I am really looking forward to a lot of things coming up. We are going to TN for an anniversary trip in May, then the beach in June. I am happy tonight as I write.

A Lovely Day

Wed. is story time at this library. Em and I have missed very few days. Today was very nice. Em was especially talkative and interacted quite a bit. . Her friend Grace was there and they were buddy buddy.
After every story time we check out way too many books. These are the books that we read at bedtime and we change them every 2 weeks. This is our routine. Kinda cute. Em picks her books based on looks, whatever catches her eye. I try to throw in ones I think are educational. She LOVES Dr Suess books.
Today she picked up A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza. Of course we had to read them before her nap when we got home. This was a great book. It was about a duck who doesn't have a mother. She looks all over for one and a bear finally takes her home and her children are a hippo, pig, and alligator. I immediately thought of how this would be a great book for children of different ethnic backgrounds who are adopted or biracial children. Loved this book.



Sooooo. I have a long standing feud with the baby monitor. Yes, still in use. Yes, my daughter is 3. Blame Coleman not me. Well, today I can say with confidence ( I think) that the monitor will be gone. After Emily went down for a nap I was doing laundry and talking to Coleman on the phone. I turned around and there was Emily. She said "The buttons on my shirt came undone. I need you to fix them." Scared the crap out of me. Just like that she learned she could get up, open the door and come to me. After about 10 times this wasn't cute anymore. We had a talk. I told her she could only get up after she had slept and woke up or if she needed mommy. (That one is wide open) So far she is still in bed. We shall see! Wish me luck.

A Playful day

Today Emily and I went to Kids Cove at TRBC. I had heard about this enormous indoor play area from many if my friends. I have often been invited, but today decided to brave it alone, just me and Em. I am unsure if this is open to the public or reserved to to thousands of TRBC members. Entering into the building was somewhat overwhelming in itself. I wasn't sure if I was going into a church or a shopping mall. Then it kinda looked like a hotel lobby. Then I saw the colors of my bathroom poured over the massive building. If it is stylish enough to be at TRBC, I think I may question my whole design scheme. Oh, that sounded wrong. No offense to any TRBC members.

So, after walking down the what looked like marble lined floor we finally reached the Kids Cove. I was tryng to be all incognito so no one would no I was an outsider, The group of ladies and their kids looked at us as we walked in. They knew, they had to. It was like they could smell it on us as we walked in. I saw a girl that had a girl Em's age. She looked at me in a yeah, I don't go to church here either, I'm just sneaking in and using their facility way. We became quick friends and our girls played together, My spidy sense was right, she was one of us.

We had a wonderful time. The place was amazing and I am sure provides hours of entertainment for lots of kids. But.........

Do we need all that stuff to worship GOD. Do plush couches and marble and coffee bars and statues bring us closer to GOD? Just my thoughts. Again sorry to offend. I have a way of doing that.

This and That

Well, I haven't written in a while. Life seems to get in the way. This is a total random potpourri of thoughts.

Last week there was a foot of snow on the ground. Em's first real snow. Coleman called in to work and stayed home and we played outside and built snowmen. It was really nice. I fixed omelets for breakfast. I realized that Coleman and I hadn't eaten breakfast together in almost 6 months, since I started working only the weekend.


Yesterday, a lady at work came in and worked the last 4 hrs for me. I got off at 3. I came home and played outside with Em and Coleman. We got our 67 Camaro out and drove to town for dinner. That was nice. Again, the first Sunday evening I've been off in 6 months.

This working only the weekend thing definitely has its share of advantages and disadvantages.

Coleman went to see The Watchmen tonight. He said the movie was "weird." It takes a lot for Coleman to give a movie that label, so I'm glad I didn't go see it. I'm suppposed to see 2 of my frineds this week and I'm getting my hair done. I am looking forward to the week, just wish the weather would stick around.

A New Day

So, I have for a while been feeling jittery, out of sorts and on edge. I have blamed this on many things. I will say that I am stressed out, that I don't get enough time to just stop and think. I have also put a lot of the blame on other people. I have become very disgruntled at work, constantly complaining and even going as far as to look for another job.

Well, Sunday it hit me like a ton of bricks. GOD spoke to me. Not directly to me, but through someone and it became clear to me that the problem was within me. My heart has not been pure. My tongue has been the vessel that has been bringing these feelings upon me. I have begun a "tongue fasting." I have been reading the Bible but recently picked up this book that is about helping you tame your tongue. It is scripture based and very relevant and helpful. It is helping me to understand the teachings of Jesus better.

There are new feelings erupting inside of me. I feel invigorated, alive and very capable of changing. I have realized that I have been self absorbed and not looking to GOD for answers. I am hopeful, optimistic and convinced more than ever that GOD is real and loves me.

Direction

Today I feel out of sorts. I can't quite place my finger on it, but I think it has something to do with feeling trapped in this house. Spring please come early!

I need some alone time. Emily asked is she was aggravating me today. The answer was yes and since I have this horrible honesty thing going on the answer to her was yes. Today we just did not jive. That is okay. Those days are to be expected, especially when you are at home together for 5 days straight.

I, however, feel out of sorts with myself. I need to do something. I did some scrap booking that I haven't done in years. That didn't help. Only made me realize how incredibly unorganized I am.

So, I will make a list of things I want to do. Oh yeah, I also started cutting out my Dr Peppers today. That may have something to do with it. Back to the list. A little late, but a list nonetheless.


Things I Would like to start/do/ accomplish this year
1. pay off credit card ( 2 more months baby)
2.organize all my closets
3. purge all of my clothes and Emily's baby stuff (it's time no baby in our future and no size 12 in mine)
4. loose weight I don't care how much just start
5. have more dates with my husband
6. have at least a few hrs a week alone
7. Get a pedicure
8. tame my tongue speak before I think
9. Read the entire Bible twice (working on that)
10. Be a better wife and mother
11. Find an area of work that I loved
12. Let go
13. Keep my hair cut short and highlighted (it makes me feel womanly)

Em Marie is now 3 !

It was just 3 years ago that my little baby was born. Today she is a baby no more. She was born at 3:19 am after 24 hrs of labor. Funny how the pain of labor quickly fades away. Surely to be replaced with the pains of raising a child. How your heart aches for them when they are sick or when they ask to see a grandparent that they cannot see. She is my angel, my friend, my light, my everything. The greatest thing that has ever happened to me, my crowning achievement.

She has grown into a little lady full of spunk and opinion much like me. She has heart that is vast, a sweetness that I hope lasts. much like her Daddy. As if marking her transition into toddler hood, becoming a "big girl", she has started calling me "mommy." No more momma. To quote her "I'm complicated." She wanted a big girl bike and a helmet for her birthday. She said,"I'll win the race for sure." She is full of these funny sayings. They crack me up.

As she grows up I can only hope that she knows that she is loved beyond belief and that her parents will always be there for her. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Change is Coming

So, I am a nurse. You would think that I would have some job security in this day and age with mad shortage. Not so much. This week they let 3 people go that I work with. Not necessarily go, just rerouted to other areas of the hospital, other shifts. Shifts that aren't conducive to their family needs. So far this has not directly impacted me, but I really feel for these people. It makes you step back and take stock so to speak of your affairs.

C's job has been doing fairly poorly for a while. He makes bearings for SUVs afterall and these days they aren't the hottest sellers. They just announced that his plant manager was leaving. Usually not a good sign. He's retiring, so, we'll see. They have had numerous lay-offs in the past months and C has managed to elude them all. Maybe he can hold out.

We don't by any means live extravagantly. I drive my old beat up Cavalier that has been through more fender benders than I can count. We don't have fancy cars or big SUVS. We don't have a huge house with all the latest amenities, but we could do more to cut back. I should say I could do more. C. that boy, he spends NO money. He is a saver and I guess that is what ultimately will save us.

So, I listen to Q99. Love that station. It relaxes me on the way home from work. John Tesh gives advice on there. Some of it crap, some of it is pretty interesting. So they suggested a no spending month. Nothing except the necessities. Could I do that? An entire month? No Dr Peppers from the drink machine? No McDonalds? It is possible I suppose. I am going to still an idea from a friend and plan out all of my meals. Try at least? Em's B-day is next week. Do I start after that? Thought? Suggestions?

New Year

I had decided that I wasn't going to blog anymore. I think that the whole facebook blog thing is taking up a bit too much of my time. Yet I sit here writing today. I think moderation is the key.

Em and I went back to the doctor yesterday for like the sixth time in a couple of weeks. I was beginning to think I was going to have to buy some antibiotics on the black market. She had horrible ear infection that was making her stomach upset and making her feel dizzy I guess. She was so cranky not sleeping and not herself at all. I am optimistic that she will return to her former self soon. I really need her to.

Coleman and I had a date for his birthday. Very nice. I need more dates. I need more time for myself sometimes! Is that bad to say? Em has not been in daycare for 1 month and his mom has watched her once. That once was the date and she called to say that something was really wrong because Emily was crying and kicking her. We needed to take her to the doctor immediately. Um... I had taken her to the doctor the day before. You would think I had no parenting skills. I explained that maybe Em just needed her parents since she hadn't been away from them in a while. No, that wasn't it. I came home. Em jumped in my arms, We had a little talk later and she said she just got cranky. I love that girl. She is so much like me it is not funny!

At work I am taking a more laid back approach. I am an anal person by nature and not very tolerant of people, but I have a new outlook. I am going to worry about me and as Coleman says think before I speak, which is something I have trouble with.

Em is now riding her bike that Santa brought her. She is digging that. We are going to make some muffins and I am going to have a wonderful day!!!!!!