The Baby Blues

So, I am late. Like 5 days late. I am not late, normally. For the past 6 months 28 days like clockwork. So, I am smiling inside. Not on the outside. I have jinxed myself in the past by taking a pregnancy test before,too early. So I patiently waited. Today I thought, I will take it. Yeah, well negative. Another month, another month of not being able to share in the bliss that is pregnancy.
So I am sitting there feeling down and I turn to facebook. Who knew that GOD is down with the facebook thing. From one comment on my status I received several encouraging emails from other people who have been through what I am going through. They lifted my spirits and reminded me that this is GOD's plan. He is in action always. I thank you to those friends. Your words and prayers are invaluable. I will continue to pray for another baby and see what GOD has in store.

Oh Christmas Tree

Since Em is almost 3 I thought this Christmas my dream would finally come true. I have always had this vision of the perfect tree trimmimg. It involves lots of ornaments, hot chocolate and happy Christmas music. We had all but the hot chocolate. Till now C had resisted the music but he actually liked it. ( I think) So we trimmed the tree and Em only broke a few ornaments, but they were probably made in China, so I can't blame her. I thought that I was putting up the tree too early but other people I know already have a tree up. The holidays come earlier every year. This year I am trying to focus more on the real reason that we celebrate Christmas. I am thankful for my family and my friends and for being able to have dinner with my brother and sister yesterday.

My Church

It is funny how GOD works in different ways. I am follower of Christ but often struggle with how to share my faith. I told C tonight that we don’t talk enough about our faith or GOD. We also haven’t been able to go to church since I started working only on the weekend. I do not believe that you have to go to church to have a relationship with GOD or to share your faith. I would like to find a church to share my life and faith with other followers who could help me find my way down this path.

Back to my job. I needed to start working more because of C’s job. They haven’t been doing the greatest. The weekend only thing would work because you work less and get paid more. You are part time but get full time pay. A win-win. (All except the working every weekend thing) When I interviewed there weren’t any positions open. I was just going to interviewed in case something came open. Well the job came open the day I interviewed and she called the next week to offer me the job. That same week C’s job cut him back to 4 days a week. GOD at work.

So as I write tonight I think back on another weekend where I sat at the bedside of a dying patient and hugged a daughter who is about to loose her father. For the past few weeks it seems this has become the norm. I find myself crying every weekend with a family member. I started asking myself why I kept going back if I knew this was going to happen. This is GODS plan. I am touched by the strength and faith of the patients and families. They are making me want to be a better person and a better servant. This is where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. For now this is my church.

Friday

Today C had surgery to remove a "growth" on his eye. He was his not his usual silent self. He was joking with the doctor the entire time. It was very different to see that side of him. I think it comes out when he gets nervous.

We got E her "pop and spray" things she was wanting sooo badly. These are otherwise know as "Pixos." I know that now because of my friend J. Well they are not the awesome wonder they appear on TV. As most things these days it started out E and I doing it. By the end I was making some weird looking dog out of tiny balls. $14.99 down the drain. This is why there should be no television in out house.

I have learned that you cannot change people and you cannot please everyone, so it is with great diligence I will try to remember both of these as I deal with my myriad of family and friends.
It is off for 2 days of work I go so I will rest.

Jill This Blogs For You

As I set here listening to my almost 3 year old beckon her dad on the monitor I feel compelled to break the monitor. Not in anger or frustration, but that is the only way my husband would be able to not use it. I never would have thought I would be trying to convince him to stop using the monitor. When the child is completely aware of it and talks louder so it will pick her voice up it has to go. She is 3. What is the cut-off age? Is she gonna be the first 15 yr old with a baby monitor in her room? She is so playing her daddy. The monitor has to go. IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!